I’m studying…honest!

So, it is dead week, or formally RRR week which stands for Reading/Review/Recitation. That means, no classes, but review sessions, meetings, end of term events, and a bit of work too. That also means, theoretically, more time to study and that one will study with that extra time.

I have two finals this semester. One is in class, the other is a take home. Needless to say, that is a pretty light load. I told myself that Monday I would begin to review and study. Sunday night I found myself sitting at home and eating my fingers out of anxiety over NOT studying. But the thing is, I purposefully set a no studying parameter because whenever I have assignments or reading or studying, I feel guilty if I am not working on them nonstop. Even when I have ample time. However, once I begin to study, I do a half-ass job because I know that I have more time later.

So that is my current dilemma right now. I could be extraordinarily productive for two hours and really focus on my study guide, be done by 10 or 10:30 and just relax the rest of the night. But instead I will distract myself with 20 million things and half-ass study till midnight. meh. I am making an attempt to carve out time in my days for non studying activity so that when I do sit to go over notes and lectures, I actually focus. Today I went for a bike ride. I also worked for 2 hours. I also met with my mentee. But, alas…

Current musical obsession: Beach House. You should look them up.
I also re-deactivated my facebook. Its kind of better without it.

Yesterday there was an info session for prospective Senior Honors Thesis Applicants. I went, seeing as I have been toying with the idea and have a clear idea and research topic in mind. However, I was scared away. The first thing they said, was to examine your motivations for writing a thesis. If you are intrinsically motivated and inspired by your topic and want to take part in the production of knowledge and spend an entire year dissecting and analyzing data and academic articles and immerse yourself in the research process, those are good reasons. If you want to graduate with honors and put it on your resume and say you wrote a thesis and simply want to prove you can do it and have another accomplishment under your belt, those are bad reasons. All my reasons and motivators fall into the latter group. Hence, therefore, no thesis for me. I shall remain a consumer of knowledge rather than a producer. At least for the time being…

I also met the entire Alternative Breaks Team yesterday during the transition meeting. This is a project I am rather excited about. Its more interactive and engaging and will allow me to develop my leadership skills. And I get to change peoples lives, both directly while doing service work, and indirectly by getting them to think critically about food and the food system. As was said yesterday “the best form of art is to help shape the human heart”. awwwwww…….

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