hello march

it needs to be tuesday
it needs to be tuesday now
but alas, it is only sunday

I want it to be Tuesday at 6 pm because that is when I will be done with 2 out of 3 midterms. granted, I will still have one more, but at least I will have ample time to properly freak out about that one later.
I don’t exactly know how to study for these more than the studying I have done. I spent…all day yesterday synthesizing readings and constructing essay responses. My legs forgot how to operate after being on my rear for too long. and my brain had melted into my skull. so, naturally it was beer time. and naturally we went to jupiters. and naturally there was a bartender…I feel like I have a grasp of all the material, and a few key details, and that doing more would be beneficial, but at the same time I have had a lot of trouble focusing and staying productive today. Its a good thing I’ve got tomorrow and tuesday for some last minute cramming action.

I am coming out of my crappy feeling slump, thank goodness. For some odd reason I had a miserable week of just feeling like sh*t for no particular reason and of course that feeling likes to perpetuate itself for some time. I know a lot of it was related to midterms and the amount of pressure I place on myself to succeed and to act “just so” and in accordance with some absurd ideal I have of the way life should be. and what i want to do with my future after graduation…

…which I had a random idea a few nights ago, and I really really really want to make this random idea actually happen. I was studying for my comparative cultures midterm about europe and america when I realized that I have never actually seen what I am reading about. that is, I’ve never travelled Europe. And seeing as I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and that I probably wont have any idea what I want to do in a years time…why not travel? graduate in may, work through march to save some more money while planning my trip, and bon voyage for 4 months (or longer, depending on finances) And thats when I can deal with finding a “real job” or something…So since having this epic plan come to my mind a few nights ago, I have been feeling a lot more at ease and relaxed because suddenly this pressure to impress people and fit into the mold of smart-student-must-do-an-honors-thesis disappeared. although…i still should do one because….um…i don’t know…

I went to a concert Thursday night which was loads of fun. Hadag Nachash was playing in Oakland and they put on an epic show of hip hop/rap/pop/rock in hebrew. The venue was intimate, the company was grande, and the beer was…beer, and the music allowed for dancing and jumping. [the semi-awkward part was running into two people that interviewed me for summer camp positions…i did get a job offer though] I also got a t-shirt, courtesy of my roommate who was probably slightly drunk when he gave it to me. is that considered exploitation?

On the job front, I now have 3 offers from which to pick!!! It is quite exciting for me because I though I would be stuck jobless. And, I think I know exactly the one I am selecting…but I do not want to announce it to the world on here. lets just say I will be working with kids, talking about disney princesses, promoting positive body image and healthy eating, and making dessert all day long at summer camp. what more could i want from life? Plus, I will be living in Berkeley, in my apartment with weekends off and plenty of ample exploring, reading, relaxing time.

Meetings with my mentee have been going smoothly so far. granted, we have only met three times, and all those times have been in class. tomorrow however, we are hanging out after school for the first time, and I am a little but nervous…eep.

I have deactivated my facebook temporarily. it stemmed from the amount of studying i had to do and the immense distraction that facebook provides and my lack of ability to concentrate. (of course other things like to be distracting now, for example www.gapminder.org. it is honestly a very nice feeling to be disconnected from the virtual world. will i miss out on stuff? who knows. if people really care, i guess they will call, or text, whatever.

On that note, I should probably get myself back into study mode. c’mon brain, don’t fail me now!

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