happy spring break!

finally…midterms returned, classes over, sun is out…break is here. No more of this:

I did relatively well on midterms, lower than I am used to, but still good. That means my lowest grade was an A-, even on those exams which in all honesty I thought I got a C on. Yes, I always say that, but this time I was serious. The other times that I say I am going to fail, I am just lying. Last night was DejaVu of last week: same bar, same people…only difference was that we were rejoicing instead of suppressing our anxiety over poor midterm performance. And, I arrived home to find a stack of 8 coasters in my hood thank to an ongoing prank done by my dear friend. It is now the newest addition to my wall decor at home.

I get to pack tonight for AltBreaks! Leaving tomorrow for a weeks worth of farming and ranching adventures. Chicken farm, dairy farm, veggie farm, oyster farm. people, driving in vans, sleeping bags, church basements, sack lunches, communal dinners, gym showers, reflections, reading, writing, and all the good stuff. I am excited, but nervous too. Excited to go see and explore where food comes from in order to gain a deeper appreciation for food as food and not anything more then that and being around people who view it as such. Nervous for the same exact reasons, and what if I hate farming?

I ventured to Alcatraz last weekend with my mentee and a group of other students/mentors/mentees. It was…a blast. I had never been, and always wanted to be all touristy on Alcatraz. Naturally, I could not pass up this opportunity to go AND take someone with me who usually does not have the opportunity to go on random excursions. Bundled up in layers…bart-ed over into the city…where I proceeded to re-fall in love with it. [ok, dramatic words, but I cannot explain why I love SF so much. every time I go, without fail, my heart skips a beat and flutters in my throat and…I’ll stop now]
Anyways, Alcatraz was pretty nifty, I had no idea that it was the site of a Native American occupation (which is one of the first things you see graffitied onto the building). Walked through the penitentiary, saw the cells, the cafeteria, the library, the operators room, the escape routes. Its a little creepy, and now it seems silly that a jail is a huge tourist attraction. I think the cutest question of the day was “did they know they were gonna be famous when they came here?”
It was very rewarding to see my mentee gradually open up over the course of the day and eventually smile and enjoy herself and then tell me that this is the best weekend she ever had.

It is time to pick classes again…that dreaded time where I feel that once again my entire future is dependent on the choice that I make for next year. The biggest question of course is “should I do a senior honors thesis?” [and if so, wtf should it be on?] The difficulty here is, not only do I not know what I want to do after graduation, but I don’t even know if I want to do a thesis just for the sake of thesis-izing. I mean, regardless of future plans, if I had a strong and undying urge to write a thesis, I would. But at the same time, I don’t have an urge to NOT do one. I suppose I am rather indifferent, and to top it off, none of the sociology classes sound extraordinarily exciting to me that I may as well spend a year researching something I find important or exhilarating. And its an experience I will never have again, right? ugh, I hate decisions. I may as well apply…because I may not even get selected. Should I be an ALtBreaks trip leader? should I take more ballet classes? should I just do the bare minimum and scrape by with a 2.0? (as if that would ever happen…)

I am quite shocked by how fast this semester is going…I had a list of things I wanted to do, of which I accomplished possibly 1 thing. oops. but at the same time, I feel like I am always busy, but I don’t think I do very much. Maybe the reason I always feel busy is because my head is always going a mile a minute and future tripping even if I am just laying in bed (pondering what I want or should do now, later, today, this week…) but I am really excited for this summer and being back and forth between berkeley and LA and exploring both a bit more.

Bittersweet cafe is my new discovery where they serve the most amazing richest chocolatiest hot chocolate ever. and they have different flavors: mocha, regular, bittersweet, peppermint, peanut butter, chai, and spicy!!! and baked goods and chocolates and ice cream and homemade marshmallows and cute furniture. Its a good thing that its a ways down college, or else I would be there everyday, maybe twice a day, and turn into a truffle by the end of the month. good times.

Freehouse is a restaurant/bar right by campus that I also ventured to for the first time. It is pretty nifty looking, like an awesome castle with little paths and steps leading up to the arched front door. Inside there are medieval looking chandeliers, a fireplace, couches, a pool table…it does feel like a mini castle of sorts. Did not try the food (8-14$), it looked alright enough. Did not try the cocktails (8$), however they sounded amazing…they have a menu of classic ones (old fashioned, blood and sand, manhattan, negroni, whiskey sour etc) and then some modern concoctions. the beer and whiskey menu is extensive too (5-18$ if you are getting really fancy). Red wine, white wine too (5$, that’s what I had)It’s a good spot indeed, to hang out in a leisurely manner and sip a fancy drink.

well, to spring break and food justice and sustainability, cheers.

midtermz down!

I am done with midterms, and midterm papers. I am extremely happy that they are over and out, but…meh. It really sucks to spend so much time and effort studying for something and not having the effort pay off. And that leads to a general and overall feeling of crappy-ness. And the class I am actually learning most in, will probably be the one that pulls my GPA down…
Classical Social Theory, the bane of my existence at the moment, despite the midterm being over. I understand the theories and the theorist’s ideas about religion and history and division of labor and freedom and solidarity and modes of production and class consciousness and collective consciousness and false consciousness and categories of understanding and conceptual thought and class formation and collective effervescence and segmented society and moral density and functionalism and dialectics and historical materialism and social morphology and tension and conflict and surplus and ideology. Yet that seemed to be of no help on the midterm in comparing and contrasting them in 3 short essays of 3 succinct paragraphs each. Walking out of a room knowing you did badly sucks. what also sucks, is walking out of a room knowing you did really well and then getting a grade lower than you expected while everyone around you gets way better grades. I hate not being good at things…

Of course midterms called for celebratory action after, so a toast was made for hegel, a toast was made for marx, a toast was made for durkheim, and a toast was made to potentiality (because possibilities are just as real as rocks and trees) and a premature toast was made to weber and mosca. cheers.

no i have to play catch up for the other two classes i have completely neglected. luckily its only reading…that seems easy now, despite having 80,583,512 pages to get through. thank goodness spring break is just around the corner…
WHICH I AM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT. farming, and food, and justice! and mentoring is going rather well, I get to go to alcatraz with my mentee this weekend. I have never been, nor has she. april should be a good month…BONIVERANDVISITORS

we won the purim costume contest, as popeye and olive oyl, it was quite exciting and satisfying. score!
its been raining for about a week now…i miss the sun.

I deactivated facebook for midterms, but I am thinking to keep it deactivated for a bit longer. Its really nice to not have it there, I feel like I am more engaged with life and myself without it being a distraction. it makes focusing easier, and possible my productivity level will increase leaving me more free time to do fun things. like get back on my bike which has been neglected for the past 2 weeks, poor thing.

I am also investigating places to re-color my hair, and I am taking new colour suggestions.

hello march

it needs to be tuesday
it needs to be tuesday now
but alas, it is only sunday

I want it to be Tuesday at 6 pm because that is when I will be done with 2 out of 3 midterms. granted, I will still have one more, but at least I will have ample time to properly freak out about that one later.
I don’t exactly know how to study for these more than the studying I have done. I spent…all day yesterday synthesizing readings and constructing essay responses. My legs forgot how to operate after being on my rear for too long. and my brain had melted into my skull. so, naturally it was beer time. and naturally we went to jupiters. and naturally there was a bartender…I feel like I have a grasp of all the material, and a few key details, and that doing more would be beneficial, but at the same time I have had a lot of trouble focusing and staying productive today. Its a good thing I’ve got tomorrow and tuesday for some last minute cramming action.

I am coming out of my crappy feeling slump, thank goodness. For some odd reason I had a miserable week of just feeling like sh*t for no particular reason and of course that feeling likes to perpetuate itself for some time. I know a lot of it was related to midterms and the amount of pressure I place on myself to succeed and to act “just so” and in accordance with some absurd ideal I have of the way life should be. and what i want to do with my future after graduation…

…which I had a random idea a few nights ago, and I really really really want to make this random idea actually happen. I was studying for my comparative cultures midterm about europe and america when I realized that I have never actually seen what I am reading about. that is, I’ve never travelled Europe. And seeing as I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and that I probably wont have any idea what I want to do in a years time…why not travel? graduate in may, work through march to save some more money while planning my trip, and bon voyage for 4 months (or longer, depending on finances) And thats when I can deal with finding a “real job” or something…So since having this epic plan come to my mind a few nights ago, I have been feeling a lot more at ease and relaxed because suddenly this pressure to impress people and fit into the mold of smart-student-must-do-an-honors-thesis disappeared. although…i still should do one because….um…i don’t know…

I went to a concert Thursday night which was loads of fun. Hadag Nachash was playing in Oakland and they put on an epic show of hip hop/rap/pop/rock in hebrew. The venue was intimate, the company was grande, and the beer was…beer, and the music allowed for dancing and jumping. [the semi-awkward part was running into two people that interviewed me for summer camp positions…i did get a job offer though] I also got a t-shirt, courtesy of my roommate who was probably slightly drunk when he gave it to me. is that considered exploitation?

On the job front, I now have 3 offers from which to pick!!! It is quite exciting for me because I though I would be stuck jobless. And, I think I know exactly the one I am selecting…but I do not want to announce it to the world on here. lets just say I will be working with kids, talking about disney princesses, promoting positive body image and healthy eating, and making dessert all day long at summer camp. what more could i want from life? Plus, I will be living in Berkeley, in my apartment with weekends off and plenty of ample exploring, reading, relaxing time.

Meetings with my mentee have been going smoothly so far. granted, we have only met three times, and all those times have been in class. tomorrow however, we are hanging out after school for the first time, and I am a little but nervous…eep.

I have deactivated my facebook temporarily. it stemmed from the amount of studying i had to do and the immense distraction that facebook provides and my lack of ability to concentrate. (of course other things like to be distracting now, for example www.gapminder.org. it is honestly a very nice feeling to be disconnected from the virtual world. will i miss out on stuff? who knows. if people really care, i guess they will call, or text, whatever.

On that note, I should probably get myself back into study mode. c’mon brain, don’t fail me now!