i should really be studying

i hate that feeling of anxiety and anxiousness that is constantly in mind…that tiny little voice always telling me i should be studying or reading even if its the last thing on earth that i want to do, which is often the case. I think having so much to do really douses my motivation because it feels like it never ends. someone please remind me why I am in school…

On the brighter side of life, the non school related side, I saw DeVotchka at the hardly strictly bluegrass festival which was loads of fun. It was my first time heading into San Francisco since moving here, the weather was lovely, as was the company. And DeVotchka was fierce, as usual. We also saw Bela Fleck play with Edgar Mayer and Zakir Hussain, which was intricate, neoclassical, somewhat mid-east influenced sounds of musical delight. Ending the day with hummus was not a bad call either.

Monday was my first time biking in the rain, and I arrived home looking as though I had jumped out of a swimming pool. Not fun. I am crossing my fingers that the rain will stop and hold off until december when I can move closer to campus. *pleasepleaseplease*

Tuesday night Jack Sinclair came to lecture and engage in a discussion with M. Pollan. Jack Sinclair is the Vice President of Food Distribution at wal mart. Wal mart, the company everybody hates, who bases their business model on low price for the people, making things affordable to all, while simultaneously not paying their workers enough to afford…anything. Including the healthy food they are now offering and endorsing after teaming up with Michelle Obama (food politics, anyone?) Wal Mart is also pursuing more sustainable food sourcing practices, and supposedly paying fair wages to farmers, reducing its carbon footprint, and aiming to be 100% energy efficient by…2013 i think?

Of course there are pros and cons to this massive corporation taking on such changes. First, they have the power to actually make changes. Wal mart is the largest food purchaser in the US, supplying food to 1/3 (the most economically disadvantaged) of the population. Any changes they make can drastically alter food ways, and energy consumption. Also, it brings attention to the current environmental problems the US currently has to deal with. But I wonder what the real reason is for doing it. Because as a corporation, the main goal is growth. Sustainability for the sake of growth seems like an oxymoron to me.

Jack Sinclair was a cute little scottish man, who seemed a bit nervous as he spoke. But I must give him mad props for coming to Berkeley, and sit down with M. Pollan to engage in some question and answer sessions. No one threw anything at him. Well, except for dirty looks possibly as he kept saying the customer comes first and wal mart needs to satisfy the customer with low prices. He didn’t know how to respond when asked “what about increasing wages, so prices do not always have to be so low?” hmmm…

And now its time to be productive, when all I truly want to do is…ride my bike, get a GOOD book, go to a cafe, and read. Then come home and possibly bake something because its really cold, and I could fill the house with autumn scents. And then ponder the meaning of life, and try to figure out mine.

Speaking of which, I have a midterm in my Urban Sociology class on Friday. And some of the themes of city living and moving and adjusting and being alone and anonymous and having only secondary and tertiary relationships correlate so much to my experience that I would even consider doing a research thesis on something related to solitary experiences in the city.

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